For Immediate Release

**Los Angeles, CA** Body modification expert Jon Paine revealed the long-awaited plans for his next project today. Paine announced that his project includes implanting a personal digital assistant, or PDA, under his skin. The device will have the capability to interact with a personal computer.

Paine says that the implantation will be "revolutionary," setting the stage for many other, more complex procedures in the near future. "I want to change the world," Paine stated, "And to do so, I will start with myself."

Paine's assistant, Amie Adams, provided more details of Paine's philosophy. "Jon is a firm believer in self-directed evolution. He believes that although modern life provides many conveniences, it also unfairly encourages the weak genes to dominate over the strong ones. In order for the human race to survive, Jon says that we must do what we can to continue to provide an edge. By using implants, humans can enhance themselves in many unique and important ways."

Speculation has raged on possible project scope since a teaser announcement on Paine's website, http://www.enhanceyourself.org , in October 2005 with no more details other than Paine's quote that, "It has the potential to change the world."

 We are not Human.

We are the ones with the glowing eyes.  The alien silhouette in your doorway.  We are werewolves and we are warlocks, we are martians and we are mutants.  We are what the mainstream media and the reigning dynasty of normality-merchants like to call, "freaks."

When the average Joe Burgerflip on the street hears someone like me tell him, straight up, that I'm not human, he flinches.  That's because Joe Burgerflip, the wage slave, the normality addict, can only think backward, and downward.  If I'm not human, to him I must be INhuman.  But that isn't his fault.  It's society.  They've put him on rails, made him "sensible" and "grounded."  There's nothing above the average man but the chance to turn Joe Burgerflip into Joe Middlemanager, Joe HR, Joe CEO.

But there is something bigger than Joe, in all his glorious debt-ridden forms.  That is what we, the so-called freaks, are working for.  All of our pain, our blood, our skin, our muscle, isn't just an offering to the fickle god of anguish.  It is art, and it is pride, and it is strength.  But it is more than that.

We are becoming SUPERhuman.

So, the next time you see someone like me out there in the wild, be thankful.  We're the pioneers of the new evolutionary frontier.  We're taking the plunge, headfirst, into the next Epoch of Humanity, and our children - and yours! - will be the ones to reap the rewards.  And even if Joe Burgerflip isn't ready to take the plunge with us, that's fine.  We'll gladly take it for him.

 Peace.

-JP

 **Los Angeles, CA**: National body modification guru Jon Paine announced that he has performed the implantation of a fully-functional RFID chip in his hand. Radio Frequency Identification, or RFID, can be contained on a small, passive silicon chip small enough to be inserted under the skin, but potent enough to be recognized by external devices. Paine's device allows him to interact with objects such as cell phones, automobiles, and badge readers. Although the chip itself is not powered, when it comes in contact with something that scans for it on a certain frequency, it is detectable.

When contacted for a statement, Paine acknowledged that he inserted the device himself and credited his girlfriend, Amie Adams, with the support to go through with the procedure.

Amie stated that, "Last week, Jon implanted a chip into his hand. Due to Jon's amazing ability for recovery, there was very little swelling within just a few hours. The next day he was able to interact with a badge reader, a cell phone, and a prototype device used to unlock a car door."

Jon Paine grew up in the Midwest but moved to New Jersey as a teen, where he developed his interest for body modification while working with a traveling circus. Amie Adams is originally from Pittsburgh, of which she says, "This is a long way from working the bar at Steelhart's."

Jon Paine claims that there is "much more to come" in his body enhancement future.